Success is best measured in small doses

This sunday was AWESOME! I had a huge and unbelievable loss.  5.8 lbs.  It was especially cool because I was expecting a gain.  So this week I started on an upswing.  I haven't been good all week but I have been tracking absolutely everything! I feel proud of myself for that.  Recently i find that i have been running away from the tracking.  As if not tracking would somehow mean I wouldn't feel bad about eating it.  Since it wasn't permanently down on paper but I think that this is the best way to do it.

This week its been an entirely different issue.  I have the bad habit of weighing myself almost everyday just to check how much my weight is fluctuating, its strange but this week I have been gaining wait steadily everyday the scale goes up.  I am of course driving myself crazy with this but I cannot help it.  It seems that the more I concentrate on tracking and following the plan the more I begin to obsess on what the scale says.  Of course this week I'm supposed to be getting my period and that can affect my weight too as I retain water.  Jeez the issues of being a female trying to lose weight.  I think I just need to keep tracking and keep working out and let the chips fall where they may, although I just know if they don't fall where I want them to I'm going to be really upset.  Which will likely derail me and that's the worse because I'm really closer to goal then I would have ever believed and now is when it is getting the hardest!! But, positive thoughts and attitude! I can do this, and 5 lbs up is better than 15 or 50, which I am very capable of. So here's to my lost 5.8 and to my tracking EVERYTHING and to staying on plan no matter what my home scale says:)

Walking on the wild side

So today I woke up feeling so much better than last night.  Last night was hard, I had a world of emotional baggage that came out and that I still have to deal with.  It made me retreat into myself, but it was a sort of a final moment after a week of being off plan and eating terribly! This weeks topic was again emotional eating and of course I did a lot of that.  Today I am back on plan, tracking, and got in my workout.  I think that this is what I have to remember that I need to do no matter how far I go.  Getting back on plan and getting back to what I know is best for me is the most important thing.  That's one thing I can see throughout this blog and my journey, that I am not likely to walk away from this.  That I keep coming back to it no matter how far I go from it, and that the great thing is that the plan is always there, waiting to help me track and get back on track.  So for today, its all about finding the positive in negative, being the best me that it is in me to be, and just trying for what I know I need:)  I feel empowered, I'm a beast, I'm taking name and conquering stuff, lol.

Will Winter one-derlands never cease?

I thought I was done with this blog but the universe keeps brining me back to it. I've been thinking about it and then it just keeps coming up in conversations, or my cousin entwined it or it just pops into my head, so I figured why not just give in. 

So September of 2013 was the beginning of ups and downs. I lost the weight I gained over the summer (so hurray) but plateauing and going up and down is becoming the name of the game. Still positive feelings are there. Buried deep down. Struggling to get out. Choking for air, but there nonetheless.  I think. I'm happy to say that I've reached Onederland and I've been here for well over a month and even when I go up my body brings me back down and that makes me sooo happy.  However I'm not as excited as I thought I would be. I think it's because I'm becoming inconsistent and I know who is to blame. Because, let's face it, it's always easier to blame someone else, so my blame heads to Mother Nature!! This winter has been BRUTAL!! What the hell!! Snow, -0 degree weather, and dark days followed by grey afternoons and even darker nights have lead me on a merry chase when it comes to getting on track and continuing to lose.  I can't get it together, I'm tired, my feelings are low and plummeting ever more and I'm questioning EVERYTHING! Seasonal depression is real and it's kicking my butt. 

That makes it hard to stay on plan. I want things that are warm and heavy. I don't want cold salads or an abundance of vegetables. I want carbs and meat. Nothing else will do, or at least that's what my stomach says. So I'm at meeting, down 3.8 from two weeks ago and really wanting to get back in the swing of things. Now if only the weather would cooperate.