Silence may be golden but it can say a lot!

I've been pretty upset these past two weeks.  Emotional lows left me out of the mood to do things like track my foods and exercise.  My exercising was half hearted with lots of eating of things I should not have eaten in between.  Then yesterday was the big one.  I had eaten my three square meals, exercised for the day, felt pretty good and then I had company.  Company, who expressed being hungry after having barely eaten and to me it sounded like I needed to find a solution to the problem, and when asked "are you hungry" the polite thing to do was to reply "sure I can eat".  Fast forward a half hour later and I found myself in a restaurant answering the question "are you gonna get a drink" with "Can I have a wildberry frozen lemonade?"  At the end of a meal we shared a desert because why not just go for broke?  Then I went home and went to bed...

Today, I get up go to my meeting and the lady behind the counter, after my weigh in, just gives me my sticker with my weight info and says nothing to me.  Up until this point the people who weigh me in tell me about my weight loss no matter how small, they give me a smile and a good job message.  Once I even got a high five.  When I got nothing from her I knew, I just knew that I was going to see a gain and sure enough there it was.  My gain was not catastrophic, not even a full pound, but the silence from that woman began a sense of doom that is sticking with me until now.  The problem is that I know what my problem is and yet the behavior won't leave me.  I wasn't tracking, hadn't gone to a meeting in two weeks, wasn't working out like I should have been and then I was just not saying no when offered, or asked to indulge in, what I should not have.

What gets me upset is that even as I'm saying yes, I'm thinking no.  But I feel bad, guilty to let people eat alone, guilty to ask for something light if someone else is having a whole meal, guilty to say no to food when its offered to me.  I don't know how to change this or if I will.  I know I have to keep going and trying cause I just don't think I can take anymore silence.