I'm a weekday warrior!

During the week I am on plan and on the go.  When I'm on plan and motivated, I feel like nothing can keep me down.  Wake up early to workout? No problem.  Track all your food? In the bag.  Make good choices? So easy its laughable.  But then the weekend comes and with it Armageddon   Let me tell you that having to go through the end of the world when it comes to my healthy habits, every weekend, is exhausting.  I have no set routine.  I might be doing this or doing that and so I seem to lose all will power and ability to make good choices.  I suddenly resent the strictures that during the week, I embrace.  I make food plans and then break them with no issues.  Case in point.  This past Saturday I went to a birthday party for a 6 year old.  In the morning I had a sensible breakfast.  I went over to my friend's house and we did half of our scheduled workout, not ideal but still good.  I had a sensible well balanced lunch, two hard boiled, toast, apple, orange and banana.  Tracked it all and all was right in my world...Then I find myself in front of a table of appetizers, two fried pastelitos (beef patties), kipes (which are also fried), then the most incredible thing: I'm sitting next to a bag of candy.  I reach in a take one, it was Willy Wonka taffy.  Then I reach in and take another.  The whole time I'm talking, laughing and generally enjoying myself and in the back of my mind ignoring that little voice that is telling me to stop eating the candy.  I then of course get into a battle with myself, where I tell myself to stop being so damn controlling because it's only one day, while simultaneously telling myself I really should stop eating the candy.  I'm my own bickering married couple, all while smiling and joking at the people around me.  The thing is, I really had no business eating that candy.  I didn't particularly want it.  It wasn't necessarily something I craved. And currently as I type this during my break period, in between classes, in the desk behind me there are two snickers bars that have been there for over a week.  I think about them often, really want to eat them, but then consider that I could get a whole meal for the points "cost" of those bars and tell myself its not worth it.  And I don't eat them.  Simple as that. So what is it about the weekends, the lack of routine, and social settings that makes staying on plan so damn hard?

I fight the battle and win the day Monday through Friday (afternoon), and then, I crash like, Custard losing the battle on week end days.  Do you know that's the worst part.  It will take me one week of being good to loose 1 lb and one day of being bad to gain 1 and 1/2 back (sigh).  But, the fight must go on....

Motivation! Keep it coming.

Today's Weight Watchers meeting was about what got you motivated and keeps you motivated. I'd have to say for me they are definitely not the same thing. I began attending weight watchers because I had been asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. She's opted out of the wedding in favor of buying a house with her fiancé (smart cookie that girl is) but I'm still going to meetings. I'm not sure what's motivating me right now. I think it's a combination of things...I'm still holding out for her wedding, I think this blog, my cousins, my friends, my clothes, meetings. Motivation is coming at me from a bunch of little places and I think that's the way is has to be for me.

When my cousin's mom emailed me, that kept me going another week, when I reached my first milestone that kept me going a week. My life is now going week to week. I don't think too far ahead. I can't picture myself at goal, hell I don't even know what goal is. All I know is that every week I have that weigh in and every week the attempt to lose one more pound begins again and that for the rest of my life I have another week to go either to finally reach my goal (when i decide what that is) or to stay there. So here's to motivation:)