Derby Days: Even my thoughts hurt

Ugh, the next day after a work out doing things you never do with your body is ALWAYS the worst! I  am in so much pain that I want to just die, because rigor mortis sets in and that means my body freezes and I don't have to move.

Yesterday's assistant teacher actually said "you want to lean your body to the point that you are just suspended in the air".  I don't know about you but I can't fly, nor float for that matter, so to be told to bend sideways to the point that pieces of me are "suspended in the air" is not just difficult but seriously painful.  Of course he showed us what he was talking about and he did indeed look like he was floating in the air but sweet lord is my body NOT ready for that.  Suffice it to say I fell so hard I'm pretty sure I had to pick up my butt cheek when I stood back up.

This is just one of the reason's everything hurts.  Of course the other reason is that I'm terribly out of shape.  I have been gaining ridiculous amounts of weight, not working out even a bit and yet asking my body to hold itself up.  I need to get it together because otherwise things are not going to go well. (sigh)

Oh yeah and tomorrow I'm going to start my derby specific workout routine.  First thing I had to do was a test to see how strong my core was.  I had to do a one leg/one arm up plank.  I was able to hold that for ohhhhh.... I'd say 0:00 seconds.  Yup, I couldn't even get my arm and leg off the floor.   I'm going to blame that on the muscle soreness I'm already feeling and not on the ridiculousness that is my body! I recorded a video, if it wasn't so tragic it would be funny. I really hope that I'll watch it someday and think of it as funny. (sigh...again)

I'm still holding on; still working to make it through.  I don't want to quit so I need to make sure I do the things off skate that will help me get there.

I also think I need a place to practice being on my skates... I'll see if I tackle this next week.

Derby Days: what is this pain?

My first day of derby basic training began with me arriving 10 mins late because I had to go to Brooklyn and like any true Manhattanite I don't bother with the outer boroughs until forced.  I had my brand new gear, my fresh load of fear, and the frantic thoughts of "what was I thinking?" running through my mind. Luckily being late did two things for me: 1. It gave just enough adrenaline that as I rushed to get there my body was two steps ahead of my brain and thus 2. It left me with little chance to talk myself into just turning around and going home. I ran out and jumped right into the floor exercises.

Ok first off, there needs be a "gear" class.  Something that teaches the inept people like me how to put all this crap on. I am happy to say that Vicious Van Gogo was there to at least help me with my helmet. She was very sweet to help and explain things.  I was the last person on the track because it just took me so long. And, I don't think I quite figured out my elbow pads. I need a YouTube "how to" video, STAT!  Secondly, my back hurts.  I think I was born without a core. Is that possible? If it is then I'm it! Finally, I am totally intimidated by awesome chicks on skates.  I am not above admitting that I am downright feeling teeny tiny in the ego area when it comes to this stuff.  I need to up my inner sense of "badassness". If that's not a word, I'm gonna make it one! I'm starting a badassness meter. My meter is currently at 0. 

Day 1 I am happy to say I actually stayed on my skates for the entire time we were on them (I haven't really skated  since I was about 11 or so). Day 2 I fell but only after I was clipped by someone else's skate, so I feel this does not seem too bad for maintaining my balance. By the time the 2 hours of day 1 was over I could already feel things starting to ache, by the next morning my whole body was on fire.  

It has now been two practices. I have come to the realization that I need to start working out during the week. Waiting until practice is not good.  Of course I haven't actually done any working out, it's just that I REALIZE I need to workout.  I am not yet feeling motivated to get the hell up off my butt.  Right now I am dealing with my depression, which among other things makes me feel a bit defeated before I even begin (see badassness meter reference above). It also makes me hungry. I am eating all kinds of nonsense and despite the fact that I am aware of this, I am doing it anyway. Eating makes me feel in control even when it signifies the exact opposite. Sometimes perception is stronger than fact.  I have finished an entire pack of Oreos on my own (in about two days). I'm pretty sure my cousins haven't had any, so it was all me (if this continues my BAN meter is going to dip into the negative digits). 

On that note my fatassness meter is at about a 7. This is No Bueno.  My cousin suggested I could call myself Bronx Zu as a derby name, here's hoping it's because I will eventually skate like a badass animal, both graceful and deadly, rather than eat like a fatass one, both copiously and slothful. (No offense to sloths, who are in my opinion quite lean. Additionally, no animals where intentionally harmed or insulted in the creation of the previous metaphor). 

I am not going to be successful at derby if I don't get it together and since I have spent all this money on gear and classes I want to be successful. I am going to try a derby geared workout program. I'm hoping to get it together now that I'm going into week three! I need to go home and clean out my cupboards again. I have to get rid of all my "non-clean" food.  I need to start tracking my points and getting my head in the literal and figurative game. I need to get off my butt! 

Here's to new beginnings.

This one is for me.

This journey has been so ongoing and I think that I have lost sight of the long haul of it.  I was so used to a seemingly endless drop, that I think my mind began to think it would be seamless, but no longer.   I'm back on track and again losing but I think that I have learned a valuable lesson from these weeks of not having a success of which to speak of.  There is no going back...

I will never be able to eat as I did, to not workout as I did, to be who I was.  That is hard to accept sometimes, because in the end and in many real ways, I am still me.  It is still me in my head and even though she has changed a bit physically, it is still me when I look in the mirror.  However, it is not me at my core.  It is not me fundamentally and it will never be the "old" me again, not if I want to be successful.  

This week I found myself deciding not to go anywhere and to stay home.  Weekends have been turning into an ordeal because I find it so much harder to stay on plan when I am not the one preparing meals.  So I had a choice to make.  It does not mean that I will never go out again, but I need to choose my battles wisely.  If I went out last week I do not need to do so this week.  It's ok to miss out on a few things.  I will survive, and I did survive and I saw a weight loss on the scale because of it.  So this one is for getting back on track, back in the race, and just plain back to the me who felt that I could do this.  The new me, the me I want to be.

Progress, no matter how small

So yesterday I tracked my food.  I didn't stay within my points.  My friend came over the day before yesterday and she had purchased a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream.  I thought she had finished it so when I looked in the freezer yesterday imagine my surprise to see that it was still there.  Not all of it.  She had eaten about a third, but if you have ever read a Haagen Dazs label you'll know that two thirds is a whole lot of everything.  I fought myself, walked away, drank water, ate lunch, but to no avail.  I eventually ate it, but I also made sure that I tracked it.  And so I went through my day.  Actually ended up tracking today what I had last night, but I tracked it.  That's what matters.  Today we will see were the day takes me.  I have plans for working out but also for staying active by doing laundry and my hair, but again, we'll have to see where the day takes me, because I have a book that I'm reading and when it comes to reading I will totally put everything off just so I can read one more page.  Anyhow, I feel that this battle is about to get really uphill for me, but what matters is that I fight it, right? And, it's the sum of the battles won that ultimately wins the war. So I've got my armor on, and I'm off to the field. Pray for me.

Ok, so that didn't work.

So that last post lasted all of one day.  I'm lost as to what is going on. I don't have any motivation at all and I'm not sure what is happening right about now.  I'm all rearing to go and then fizzle out before the day is done.  My weight is steadily climbing and I'm showing no kind of self control.  So I'm starting again.  Ugh...I'm really upset at myself and I know that's not a good way to motivate or stay motivated, but it is how I feel.  Totally defeated.

Up, up and away....

So, Sunday was quite the day for me.  I went into my meeting after having missed last week.  I went because I found myself doing some thing that I had not done since this whole mishugina weight loss stuff started.  I was skipping a meeting because I thought I would see a weight gain!! (queue the suspense music, dun dun DUN!!)

Of course when I went back, my meeting leader managed to somehow make the meeting about me.  (He didn't really but somehow I feel that every meeting is about me, and I guess that's what makes WW special.  They manage to talk about things that really do impact members no matter who they are.)  He said, and these words came from someone else who he thought just expressed the importance of meetings perfectly, "when you gain weight you need a meeting, when you lose weight the meeting needs you".  Perfect, because this was one of those days where i needed the meeting and the meeting needed me!   I sat quietly until I felt I had something to contribute, like the fact that my waist has gone from a 44 inch to a 36 inch! Whoop Whoop! But, then came the moment of truth.  He asked us to share any weight loss.  I had my book with my latest weigh-in results on it. I was down one pound.  Not a big deal in grand scheme of things, at least that's what  I told myself in my mind but of course every pound counts because they add up to great moments like these and these. But I shared the one thing I had been waiting all this time to share.  I have finally made it to Onederland! The leading number in my weight is 1. You can go here if you want to know what Onederland is. I mentioned in that post not knowing what this would feel like and your know what.  It feels phenomenal and now that its been a few days since then, scary as hell.  When I first said it at the meeting I burst into tears, which was exactly what I was trying to avoid doing hence the quiet waiting for the moment when that question was asked.  When I called my cousin, I burst into tears again. (Are you noticing a pattern here?)

It is unbelievable to be here, of course I'm still in the dilemma that I feel like I look today exactly how I looked 20 lbs ago but I'm sure I don't, I probably do but I'm trying to convince myself I don't, even though I do...ok so that's what the conversation in my head sounds like.  But, the fear comes in that I'm still closer to up than down.  Its like what if one day Superman goes up up and away and isn't paying attention and so smacks into a brick wall on his way up?  You might say "well duh, it's Superman, he'll just rip right through that stupid wall." But what if that wall was made out of kryptonite, or in my case ice cream!! Catch my drift.  There is more fear in me than excitement. And a part of me feels like well this is to be expected.  There is always a little fear in change, but I feel my fear will cause me to regress and that would really, really suck!

But, positivity, right? That's what I need to focus on.  And keep reminding myself, just because that Ice Cream says Light! Does not mean I can eat 3 servings of it.  Superman may not be stronger than Kryptonite but I am certainly stronger than frozen milk and sugar! (hopefully, no I am, maybe, I know I am, or I will be...I can do this! Right? Right...maybe)

Bless me, for I have sinned.

So WW is all about weighing yourself at a regularly scheduled time so that you get a more accurate idea of your weight.  People who do it online just commit to one day/time when they do it once a week.  Meeting people like me do it right before their meetings. I of course cannot simply do that.  I weigh myself, EVERY DAY.  Every morning, I wake up, I pee and then I weigh myself.  This does two things for me.  It keeps me aware of my weight.  I know it is not accurate necessarily but it quickly tells me if my weight is going up, up and up.  Or, if its going down.  And, I need this, I need this hyper vigilance of my weight because it is a serious amount that I have to lose. This works for me of course most times but not this week.  This week my weight has been stagnant, normally I like to see a change by day 4 of weighing myself but its keeping steady and that makes me frustrated.  It frustrates me because this week I have done all my tracking, I've actually eaten well under my points most days and I've worked out everyday, so why am I not seeing results.  I fear I might be headed towards the dreaded plateau.  A place I do not want to be! I think what I will start doing is recording my weight every time I do it and then comparing that to what I'm told at my meeting I weigh.  That way I can see how well weighing myself everyday works and whether it accurately keeps me in line.  I know I just should not weigh myself everyday, but I can't help it.  This is one sin I openly will commit again.

Hunger Games

I feel like sometimes my hunger turns into the most formidable being in the world.  Like another person in the room with me who is looming over my shoulder while I'm trying to do other things.  Today has been one of those days.  For the first time I actually tracked ALL of my meals for the day ahead of time (yesterday in fact) and yet since waking I've been extremely hungry.  Beyond what I planned on eating.  I thought I could control it but it has been uphill all day and the day is just getting started.

This morning I had my regular oatmeal breakfast.  For lunch I'm having ground turkey with brown rice and a salad on the side. Not bad I would say.  In between breakfast and lunch I've gotten in the habit of having fruit as a snack everyday, because I usually have breakfast at about 6:30 am and lunch is not until 12:16 pm.  Except today one piece of fruit has turned into 2 mandarins, 1 small banana, about 10 baby carrots and 1 cheese stick. Perhaps not the end of the world in many people's eyes but when you're trying to lose as much as me, EVERYTHING counts. WTF? Why am I so hungry? And this was after I played what I think of as the hunger games of my life, a game that I often lose.  I did the whole, "acknowledge your hunger, wait ten minutes then check again".  I also had the "maybe its not hunger maybe it's thirst" conversation with myself and drank water after the first mandarin and banana.  Then I said well maybe it's just knowing the food is there, so I got up and walked out of my classroom and walked around my floor twice, in my attempt to walk away from temptation, but when I sat at my desk the hunger just came roaring back! I get this way sometimes, where I feel like hunger is just taking over. Not cool when you're trying to loose large and longtime amounts of weight.  Now, I'm drinking water again, trying to expunge my eating guilt through blog posting.  Should I be feeling this guilt? I don't know, but I do.  And, I'm left wondering if ultimately my endgame will be what I want it to be.  The end is still a way to go but I so want to get there.  And, now I fear the things that might derail my train.

From the ashes!

I went back to my meeting, like I said I would, and imagine my happy surprise to learn that even though I had missed three months worth of meetings I had lost a little over 1lb! That's means I succeeded at maintaining my weight loss for an extended period of time even when I was barely on plan. My mind set has truly changed. I really do find myself thinking in points and calculating in my head how many points things will be. That means that I am remaining aware of my food choices and not mindlessly eating.  And even when I know I am WAY off plan and am going to eat/drink something anyway I'm still counting in my head. That is something I never thought possible and I'm excited to know I'm living this reality.

So on the day of my return to the meeting I was asked to come and participate on a panel for WW and discuss my success.  Imagine my surprise.  Ever since I went to that panel discussion for people who had over 75lbs to lose it has been my ambition to be on one of those panels.  It was so inspirational to me.  (I wonder why I never blogged it?)  So anyway I was super nervous but excited as well.  And, I, rocked, it!! My friend was there to support me and she told me I was the best speaker and I was funny which put everyone at ease.  I showed pictures of before and I even showed a picture of myself in a shirt I bought a year and a half ago to go to dinner with friends and which I wore this past new year as a dress.  I made it a point to tell people that for me all I wanted was to make it from one week to the next.   I was both inspirational and inspired and it was great to tell people that I had lost 69 lbs up to this point.  The next day at my meeting my leader thanked me again and even highlighted some of what I said and mentioned that his favorite part was me showing the shirt that I then wore as a dress.  He complimented me on my clothes that day too, saying the outfit I picked was perfect. I found this rather humorous but thanked him as graciously as I could.

Now Sunday's meeting had me on the brink of tears.  My weigh-in had me at a 75lbs loss.  OMG!!! I still say it and its like what?! I can still remember trying to lose the first 5 let alone 75.  I feel so rewarded, so wonderfully blessed to have made it this far.  And the thing is, that looking back it doesn't seem like much time has gone by, but going through it, it seems like its taken forever!  And I still have more to go.  That was one idea I wanted to impart that day.  I was not at my goal.  I still have 40 or so pounds to go, and there are some people who only have 40 or less pounds in total.  But this is a life journey for all of us, one that I must be on for the rest of my life, if I want to be successful.  But I can do that.  More importantly I WANT to do that, I want this success to be permanent. It is an ambition now and that is what I want forever.  So here's to rising from the ashes, to falling down and picking myself up, to walking on cloud 9 and staying with the fight:)

Oh, how the mighty have...leaned to the side?

I have not been to a meeting in about 4 weeks.  I was too busy involved with other things.  My weight loss I think has been maintained for the most part but I think this Sunday will be the true testament to that.  I actually miss my meetings.  My meeting leader and all the people who are there regularly have seemingly become a staple in my life.  I like feeling like I was part of the regulars and I'm curious about how everyone else is doing.  These past two days have been hard.  My emotions are running low and I find myself eating more, but I have been tracking even the bad stuff and that is what I need to keep myself in control.  Two nights ago I dropped a friend off at home and then drove by a McDonald's on the way back and actually pulled into the driveway and ordered.  The whole time I was thinking that I really should not eat that stuff but that little voice inside my head was overwhelmingly overpowered by my stomach.  The thing is I'm pretty sure that I was feeding my emotions and not my body.  I'm pretty sure that, that is what I have been doing since then as well.

Emotions seem to be my downfall.  I need to keep them in check if I am going to succeed and yet how can one control emotions?  Especially when they are caused by third parties!  Eating is my longtime soother and I just don't know of another way to soothe.  I spoke to people, did not keep my emotions bottled up and did what I thought I would have to in order to feel better, like exercise (gasp).  That however, did not alter the way in which I approached food over those days.  And I'm left feeling bad, but I refuse to have this make me feel it's all over.  So, I feel a need to stand myself up straight, know that I can do this, and keep on trucking.  And realize, that the important thing is not that I soothe my emotions with food, but rather that in the end I recognize that it won't solve my problems or take the emotions away and when it comes to the hard stuff, you just have to let yourself feel it and go with the flow. Right? Right!

Run, Forrest!

So I'm looking good, feeling good, but sooo not into it. I'm tired of counting points, tired of working out, and tired of watching everything I eat. I'm tired of thinking about food in general. Kind of wish I didn't have to eat. Never thought I'd say this but food in general is making me sick and tired. So what's a fat girl to do? Well, I have to keep eating there's no choice with that. And if I want to keep losing weight I know I have to keep exercising. I think what I need is just to recharge my batteries and re-motivate myself. I have to remember that this is for the long haul and that I've got a long way to go. But, I also have to remember that I've come a long way already and I need to be proud of that. Something that is easier said than done. Now this weight watchers thing is turning into a new kind of hard...not hard to get started, hard but to stick to. To actually go in it for the long run. This is my marathon, except, before I could go at a steady jog and now I feel like I've got to sprint to the end.

Back in the Saddle Again!

Last week was expectedly disappointing.  I had a 2.6 pound weight gain but I determined that I would think positive and I did.  Yes, I gained two pounds but it was over the course of two weeks.  Yes, I gained two pounds but even with those two I still had over a 50lbs weight loss; and yes, I gained two pounds but I was determined to get back on plan, track my butt off, workout, and get back to being a loser in the best sense of the word.  And, that is exactly what I did.  I this week I lost 3.4 lbs.  Now coupled with the gain that 3.4 loss means I'm only 0.8 lbs less then I was at my last lowest, but still... every little bit helps.  I haven't always been the most positive person (and I'm not going to link to any of my old posts because you can look at ALL of my old posts and see that negativity is a big part of who I am) still I feel myself changing from the outside in and the inside out.  It's like my transformation is coming at my from all angles and to be honest it is both exciting and a little frightening.

I want to lose weight, and if I was happy with the old me I would not have felt a need to bring about so much change in myself, but to see yourself becoming someone else leads you into the "what if I don't recognize who I am at the end of this?" territory.  A happy, sad, crazy, and pretty much everywhere on the bipolar scale prospect.  Excited yes, but a still if I am honest with myself, definitely frightening.  Its so much easier to keep the status quo.  I'll have to think on this more.  But on to my meeting today.

So, my meeting was good.  We discussed how to make, order and enjoy a good salad.  Because some people think as long as the word "salad" is included in what you eat then it doesn't matter.  Not knowing or acknowledging that once you get done adding toppings and extras to it, your once healthy salad can be has points/calories/fat dense as any other meal.  People add all this stuff to their salads because they are seriously under the mistaken impression that as long as its on a bed of lettuce anything is healthy or good for you or good for your weight management plan (Sort of like the way I approach non-fat frozen yogurt. "Sure I can add those nothing but sugar loaded and fattening cookie dough bites, mini peanut butter cups, sprinkles and/or cheese cake bits...this yogurt is fat free!"). 

As I was saying...It was a good meeting and full of good advice.  We had an interim leader who took over for my normal leader who is on vacation.  She wasn't my favorite but she was very enthusiastic, and much better this time around then she was last week (hmmmm...I wonder....maybe my weight gain/loss was coloring my perception?).  Anyway next week its back to our regular leader, although she did do something I liked.  She not only celebrated any good news (aka weight loss) but she asked what people attributed this week's success to, that was inspiring to hear what others did. My answer: "Exercise, tracking, and getting back in the saddle when I was bucked off my horse!"

Taking the time.

Ugh! One of my goals was to increase my workouts and find some kind of exercise balance.  I find that when it comes to exercise it is so easy to just forget about it.  This is by far the hardest part of trying to control my weight.  I know I have the time I just can't seem to take the time to do it.  I think that this is what's causing me problems now more then anything else.  I feel comfortable enough now with Weigh Watchers and the point system that it usually takes me a day to get my eating back on track despite my ups and down. If I could just get into a routine of working out then I think that how I eat would be second to that in which of the two will make me feel is the most beneficial to my weight loss.  But actually getting up and doing something? This is perhaps the hardest thing.

I'm just going to say it I am lazy by nature, inclined to sit and do nothing than to get up and move.  I will always struggle with this it seems and I don't know how to address it.  I'm just not into the exercise and I don't know what to do to motivate myself.   The frustrating thing is that I have been improving in how I see exercise and how I approach it and I even have seen how much exercising can lead to improvement. For a time I was exercising with my friend here in my house over FaceTime and that kept me motivated but her life and schedule has changed and so that has not worked anymore.  We've both seem to have fallen off the workout wagon.  I also go to the gym near my job when my coworker is available and when I'm actually at work.  But lately I've been on vacation so I don't go to the gym because I don't want to go alone.  Yesterday I went to the park and did a two mile walk with another friend (Do you notice a pattern?).  It seems that I need that other person with me to exercise.  I'm not one to be intrinsically motivated.  I don't want to go anywhere alone and I need that person to lean on.

This makes me feel terrible.  I can't help but ask myself "why can't I do this on my own?" I hate being dependent on others for that motivation but it is what I need.  It's the reason that Weight Watchers works for me.  The meetings make me feel like someone is there with me and watching me, giving me support and encouragement and keeping me under the microscope, which keeps me working at it.  So now, I need a weight watchers exercise program!  Because, I am starting to lose it.  I've called my coworker again.  Maybe when I start up work again I can get back to the gym.  Something has got to give.

Motivation! Keep it coming.

Today's Weight Watchers meeting was about what got you motivated and keeps you motivated. I'd have to say for me they are definitely not the same thing. I began attending weight watchers because I had been asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. She's opted out of the wedding in favor of buying a house with her fiancé (smart cookie that girl is) but I'm still going to meetings. I'm not sure what's motivating me right now. I think it's a combination of things...I'm still holding out for her wedding, I think this blog, my cousins, my friends, my clothes, meetings. Motivation is coming at me from a bunch of little places and I think that's the way is has to be for me.

When my cousin's mom emailed me, that kept me going another week, when I reached my first milestone that kept me going a week. My life is now going week to week. I don't think too far ahead. I can't picture myself at goal, hell I don't even know what goal is. All I know is that every week I have that weigh in and every week the attempt to lose one more pound begins again and that for the rest of my life I have another week to go either to finally reach my goal (when i decide what that is) or to stay there. So here's to motivation:)

My mind is so much stronger than...my mind.

I need to get the hell out of my house!  I think I am going stir-crazy.  I've downed some 50 pieces of lemonhead candies because I was craving something sweet and suddenly remembered I had them in my bag.  They were a gift.  The problem is not so much that I ate the candies but rather that I had them after I had fixed a bowl of oatmeal with cranberries and almonds because I was hungry.  Why can't I just ignore what seems to be the perpetual needs of my stomach.  I go through this internal struggle in my mind that I end up losing against myself.  Everything defeats me, boredom, work, happiness, stress, it all leads back to the need for food.  I have a lack of control when it comes to the things that I put in my mouth.  I have no self-control and that leads to a lack of self-respect and acceptance.  It upsets me that I cannot seem to win this war.   Conquering food is the hardest thing that it seems I've ever attempted to do, the one insurmountable obstacle, the impossible dream.  I'm frustrated and I know that this is the time when I need to work the hardest at what I am doing, but it feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle.  I need to keep the positive thoughts in my head.  If this was easy it wouldn't be worth it right?  Except that for some people, millions of people in fact, this is easy.  But that won't help me, will it?

Happy thoughts.  Tomorrow I begin again.  This reminds me of a poem my professors gave me when I was going to become a teacher.  I think it will serve me better now, and at each new beginning of conquering my problems with weight:

The Non-conformist

Today as many times before
the sun has lit a streak of fire in the sky.
But in the morning of the new day
I am pushed from the hastening trolley bus
like a cork from a bottle.

Men and women love the dawn for its freshness,
for its promise of new beginnings.

In the morning therefore,
I am not frightened
that I have chosen to live a life
unlike that of other young men.

-Anatoly Ivanushkin

It still applies so much to every day when I wake up and go off to teach my kids, but I know if I try it can bring me to a new place.  It's the power of poetry.

In the morning therefore...I begin again.

First Goal Down!!

A day of many firsts! I reached my first weight loss goal. Weigh Watchers has some preset goals that participants are encouraged to engage in. You can set whatever goal you would like but their first two suggestions are 5% and 10% of your weight. So I hit the first goal and lost 5% of my weight. It was only 14 pounds and it took 5 weeks and it feels great, steady and strong. I'm very happy about that.

Another first was using the recipe book given to me by Cathy!! The only problem was that it took me 3 supermarkets and 2 boroughs to shop for it. That makes me apprehensive. I hope everything doesn't take that long to shop for. But, on a happier note, it was delicious! It was the "Complete & Utter Oatmeal Insanity" and it was delicious. I'm excited to see what I can do next!

Two goals reached in one day! Very cool:)