New Beginnings

I recently changed the background on my phone to one that says "Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about".  I cannot get the fact that I need to get back to my weight loss off my mind, back to working out and feeling better.  So although all I want to do is give up I won't because I really want this to work, because I've already accomplished so much so far, and because I'd like to think that when it comes to my weight loss it's too late to stop now.  Of course it's not but I'd like to think that it is.  I have accomplished goals and then lost them.  I reached Onederland and then promptly got myself thrown out!  So here I am, again beginning something that has not really ended.  And, I'm not waiting until Sunday or Monday giving myself the excuse that starting a diet/life change at the beginning of a week seems more even and symmetrical.   I am beginning today because I woke up today, because I'm lighter today than I might be on Sunday if I go without my plan, and because once again I want to go back to those feelings of accomplishment, of positive thinking and of possibilities I had before.  Why have I gone off track? Why does anyone? Life, stressed, depressed, tired, who knows?  What I do know is that I spent the grand part of my life with food being the controlling central factor, and for a year now that all changed.  It was still central but not controlling and I'm ready to get back to that point.  It has been a few weeks but that is not that long.  It's an extended vacation! I can do this, I know I can, I've done it before!

Here's to new beginnings; with purpose and strength in my stride!

Back in the Saddle Again!

Last week was expectedly disappointing.  I had a 2.6 pound weight gain but I determined that I would think positive and I did.  Yes, I gained two pounds but it was over the course of two weeks.  Yes, I gained two pounds but even with those two I still had over a 50lbs weight loss; and yes, I gained two pounds but I was determined to get back on plan, track my butt off, workout, and get back to being a loser in the best sense of the word.  And, that is exactly what I did.  I this week I lost 3.4 lbs.  Now coupled with the gain that 3.4 loss means I'm only 0.8 lbs less then I was at my last lowest, but still... every little bit helps.  I haven't always been the most positive person (and I'm not going to link to any of my old posts because you can look at ALL of my old posts and see that negativity is a big part of who I am) still I feel myself changing from the outside in and the inside out.  It's like my transformation is coming at my from all angles and to be honest it is both exciting and a little frightening.

I want to lose weight, and if I was happy with the old me I would not have felt a need to bring about so much change in myself, but to see yourself becoming someone else leads you into the "what if I don't recognize who I am at the end of this?" territory.  A happy, sad, crazy, and pretty much everywhere on the bipolar scale prospect.  Excited yes, but a still if I am honest with myself, definitely frightening.  Its so much easier to keep the status quo.  I'll have to think on this more.  But on to my meeting today.

So, my meeting was good.  We discussed how to make, order and enjoy a good salad.  Because some people think as long as the word "salad" is included in what you eat then it doesn't matter.  Not knowing or acknowledging that once you get done adding toppings and extras to it, your once healthy salad can be has points/calories/fat dense as any other meal.  People add all this stuff to their salads because they are seriously under the mistaken impression that as long as its on a bed of lettuce anything is healthy or good for you or good for your weight management plan (Sort of like the way I approach non-fat frozen yogurt. "Sure I can add those nothing but sugar loaded and fattening cookie dough bites, mini peanut butter cups, sprinkles and/or cheese cake bits...this yogurt is fat free!"). 

As I was saying...It was a good meeting and full of good advice.  We had an interim leader who took over for my normal leader who is on vacation.  She wasn't my favorite but she was very enthusiastic, and much better this time around then she was last week (hmmmm...I wonder....maybe my weight gain/loss was coloring my perception?).  Anyway next week its back to our regular leader, although she did do something I liked.  She not only celebrated any good news (aka weight loss) but she asked what people attributed this week's success to, that was inspiring to hear what others did. My answer: "Exercise, tracking, and getting back in the saddle when I was bucked off my horse!"