I seem to be in a rush to finish every meal, why is that? This morning I decided to indulge and have a bacon egg and cheese. I ate the first half of it only and left the second half for lunch a few hours later. I began eating at 11:30 by 11:34, I was finished. That's crazy. It actually hurt to have finished that thing that quickly, it felt like it got stuck somewhere on its way down and it made my heart quicken. What is my rush? I seem incapable of just taking my time with a meal. I don't know where that stems from. Maybe its because growing up we never actually sat down to meals, instead eating was secondary to whatever else we were doing. I never pay attention to what I eat and when I do I feel a little foolish. If I stop and think about chewing my food I feel like anyone who looks over will think that I'm being weird because I feel like purposely chewing slow causes me to make weird faces. Although the truly weird part is that I'm not sure why I feel that way even when I'm alone. What's that all about? I'm not sure how to engage in slowing down without feeling like an idiot! I've been told to count how many times I chew, put my fork down in between bites, wait a 30 secs to 1 min in between bites but all of that feels weird. How am I expected to eat and enjoy a meal if I am also doing calculations?
Well I went online and guess what? There's an app for that!! Its this app that has a green light that tells you when to eat, a yellow to warn you that its time to slow down and a red one to tell you to stop. Upside? Its programmable so you can set the time intervals. Downside? If its on, the phone will shut itself off automatically after what it considers a period of inactivity, the phone cannot tell you are actively using the app. I can of course set the phone to stay on but then that will...1. kill my battery and 2. take too much time to set up if I have to do that whole turning it on and off thing EVERY TIME I eat. And then I discovered an upside that turned into a downside. It has a vibrating function for when you are out dining among people so you don't have to have it on in front of you. You can keep it in your pocket and just follow the feel of it vibrating to warn you. The down, down, downside...I'm just soooo.....how do I say this?.... REALLY REALLY FAT that I can't feel it vibrating in my pocket.
(sigh) Back to the drawing board!! AGAIN!!
Remember when you'd eat at our house? How we'd engage you in conversation in-between bites? We did that on purpose so you weren't inhaling your food and be done before us and thus help yourself to seconds way before your body knew it was full.
ReplyDeleteI can fully attest that your habits were formed early on. I never saw your family sit down to a full meal. It was always on the go.
Glad you found an app but not digging the downsides.
How about being like all the other ghetto-fabulous girls and keep the phone in your bra strap when dining out? Silly but you'd be able to acknowledge it.
You knew this journey wasn't going to be easy and I'm proud of you for finding your way through. Love you!