Email to a great person!!!

I sent out an email to a great person and I wanted to share a part of the email with everyone.  It's coming in at the middle (sort of) so don't worry if you don't understand the very beginning.  It's more what I say about myself that I'd like people to focus on anyway.

"...I look forward however to being in the place where you seem to be, where it is just a natural part of who I am and the life I lead to be conscious of food and to use it to feed my body when I need it, not how I use it now to feed my body even when I don't need it and to feed my emotions all the time.  I find that it is the psychological toll, as much as the physical one, that this weight has taken on me which makes this so hard.

However, I am learning about staying positive (which is perhaps one of the hardest things I have had to learn, one would think eating better would be the hard part but it strangely isn't).  Positive thinking is so anathema to my way of being, I don't know why negativity rules me so much but it seems to be ingrained.  I think what has made this journey so different from the ones before it is the support and the number of people who seem to want to see me succeed.  And, I know that the reason is because I am so much more willing to be open about this journey then ones I have taken before.  Other times weight loss has felt like a private burden I have to bare, something to be ashamed of because my weight was my fault but it doesn't feel that way this time. Or, at least not totally.  And that's something I also have slowly needed to learn to deal with as well.  But, I'm trying. I'm just hoping that I don't decide to throw the towel in before the final round!"

End of email!  I know its back to back with my other post but some of this I think needed to be shared.