I'm actually grateful to have a job. Not because of altruistic reasons like educating the future minds of America, or being grateful to be able to pay my bills and live my life or feed my family, or the seemingly esoteric reason of having health insurance but because it keeps my eating in line. I find that while I'm at work small manageable meals are doable and not so daunting. At home for reasons mentioned before, I can't seem to get a hold of my eating but at work it's usually no problem. Of course there is the ever dangerous cooking class which is right next door, but for the most part it's all good and gravy (if you'll pardon the pun). So last week when I was given the opportunity to teach summer school again I jumped on it. I figured it was going to be the only way to survive this summer!
Of course with all things there comes a price and that price is generosity. It is nothing but generosity that keeps the chef next door feeding us whenever he can. But generosity pops out at you when you least expect it (and sometimes when its unwelcome, a frustratingly frustrating oxymoron in and of itself...unwelcome generosity) Yesterday was my friend Erin's birthday. I decided to get her a cake to share with her 1st period Honor's class, because she loves them and because she (and they) have been doing a totally awesome job of tackling one of my favorite plays which I suggested we do together this summer and that she had to do on her own because my classes were switched. Anyway, she generously gave cake to her kids, brought me a thankfully small piece and gave some to our other work BFF next door and her internee. So yesterday he thanks me and tells me the cake was delicious, I tell him he is most welcome and I'm glad he enjoyed it and today he (figuratively) kicks me in the shins and gifts me for the cake by bringing me a glazed doughnut!! I mean, What-The-Hell? Dude? Really? A thank you was MORE than enough. Here I am trying to eat sensibly and you come cutely bearing a doughnut!! And GLAZED!! One of my F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E-S!! It couldn't be a chocolate? Or that plain kind that tastes like sweetened cardboard? I want to give it away so badly, but feel so badly at the thought of giving it away. I recognize that this is going to be a part of my learning to reject food but it has pitfalls, the plan to give it away. This will become a mission in and of itself. Students love announcing when you have given something to them that you didn't give to anyone else. I cannot run the risk of a kid walking through the hallway talking about how delicious the doughnut Ms. Martinez gave him/her was. It's like I can't win for losing!! Pitfalls, pitfalls everywhere pitfalls! I must now figure out a way to get rid of this doughnut which is sitting in its DD bag teasing and taunting me with its yummy goodness. Wish me luck. Work is going to be my life change and salvation or destruction.
Still I'm grateful for my job...I guess:-/
Wait until the end of the day to give it away. That way they won't be extolling your generosity en route to the next class where it will spread like wildfire that you favored one child out of your many worthy minions.
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Luckily I found a child to give it to! I really like this particular student she's a good girl, an avid reader, a great writer and well worthy of her reward:)
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